Well, we’re officially back! The little elves we stole from Santa’s Workshop have finished fixing the ATV site, and we are up and ready to go! We’re eager to blog about all the big tech stories we missed! There’s a lot of stuff to cover: the iPhone 4 release, the death of Microsoft’s Kin, and, of course, that goddamn vuvuzela. LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU STUPID PIECE OF CRAP!!! IF I WANTED MY EARS TO BLEED, I’D GO TO A BILLY JOEL CONCERT!!!
So now that we’re back, what exciting story shall we cover first?
Prince, who wrote “Darling Nikki” and can now do whatever he wants as far as we’re concerned, has officially declared the internet “completely over,” in an interview with the Daily Mirror.
Yes, that’s right. An 80s pop star best known for changing his name to the Egyptian symbol for hermaphroditic jizz has declared the internet to be dead.
Unlike most other rock stars, he has banned YouTube and iTunes from using any of his music and has even closed down his own official website.
He says: “The internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it.
“The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good.
“They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”
You heard it here first, folks. Prince thinks the internet is no longer relevant.
I know that, because I read it on the internet.
And while we’re on the subject of 80s fads that have faded into obscurity…
NASA’s latest endeavor to educate people on space exploration has taken them to the world of video games.
The space agency has released a new PC video game available through Valve Software’s Steam service called Moonbase Alpha.
The game, which features single-player and multiplayer components, places players inside an astronaut suit, as they must rebuild a lunar base crippled by a meteor strike.
To complete the objectives leading to the revival of the base, players will use a variety of tools include mobile robotic repair units and a lunar rover.
That’s right, a PC game designed to teach you all about space travel. It’s the graphics of Halo combined with the excitement level of Pong.
(And for the record, the “80s fads” reference was referring to both space exploration and PC games.)