Welcome to Tech tAUk, Starring H.P. Lovecraft

Do you remember reading? Yeah, it’s that thing we all used to do before the internet was around. In the short history of human existence, there have been very few accomplished writers. Shakespeare, Dickens, Twain, Hemingway. And all those times you had to read A Tale of Two Cities or Huck Finn, I’m sure there was one thing going through your mind.

Which of these guys do I write like?

Well, now’s your chance to find out. Introducing I Write Like. It’s a website where you can input your writings and find out which famous author your work most resembles. It analyzes word choice, sentence structure, and writing style, thus giving you a rough idea of which famous author you write like.

I ran some tests by inputting blog posts from myself and Douglas. I ran my Summer Time Waster post from June 10 and Douglas’ post from July 8 on David Pogue’s guide to social media.

The results? The two of us write like H.P. Lovecraft, a 20th century horror writer.

Obviously this site is just guessing, and the results are absolutely meaningless, not to mention that some of the authors that you could be like on the site are still living and aren’t exactly on board with this idea.

On the other hand, some people have run tests that have turned up results similar to what literary critics have known for a while now. The Toronto Star provides this interesting tidbit.

For months, literary circles have marvelled at the resemblance between Dalton McGuinty’s classic “Children’s hospital in Ottawa celebrates big expansion” and James Joyce’s “Portrait of an Artist as a young man.”

When McGuinty wrote, “This is modern, family-centred health care at its best,” it called to mind a similar passage by Joyce: “Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo.”

The eerie resemblance between the two has now been proven by the site.

The site was invented by a Russian software programmer (as was Chatroulette), and he admits he’s surprised by the sudden success of the website. He wants to add more books and authors to the site so its readouts will be slightly more accurate.

But there’s no way I could resist letting this go without having some more fun with the site. So here’s a list of people and their works juxtaposed with their literary counterparts. Enjoy.

  • Lady Gaga’s “Pokerface”- Jonathan Swift, 18th century satirist, writer of A Modest Proposal and Gulliver’s Travels
  • Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech- Margaret Mitchell, author of Gone with the Wind
  • Steve Jobs’ Apple.com post on Flash- Cory Doctorow, a contemporary Canadian tech blogger/author
  • Baha Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out?”- James Joyce, author of Ulysses