Facebook Is Down! Quick, Somebody Write Down a Status Update!

No, you are not the only one. Apparently today Facebook decided to just stop working for everyone. The nation is, needless to say, shocked. Too many statuses are not being shared, too many links to pandas sneezing are being overlooked, and all those videos of your college roommate getting drunk are now getting wasted. Like your college roommate.

Here’s a YouTube video that was posted less than an hour ago:

Oh, and here’s another video posted by a Neil Patrick Harris lookalike:

This is the second outage Facebook has suffered in two days, and nobody really knows why. People have been taking to Twitter to vent their frustrations, but now everything is back to normal.

There’s no question the timing is suspicious. I mean, what other explanation could there be for Facebook going down a day after Mark Zuckerberg gives a crapload of money to Newark and eight days before a movie bashing Zuckerberg is released in theaters? Normal technical malfunctions? Please. Occam’s Razor is a bunch of crap, everyone knows that the most convoluted answer is, nine times out of ten, the correct one.

What I’m saying is: we can’t know. Until I see proof that this isn’t some giant conspiracy on Facebook’s part, I’m sticking to my original thesis.

Looks like Facebook is back up and running after a DNS server error crippled the site and its “Like” button plugins throughout the Internet for a couple of hours.

Damn you, facts!